pottergenes:

ways james could have revealed his animagus secret to lily

  • surprised her mid conversation when he saw the perfect opportunity

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  • transformed in the middle of the night while they slept 

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reblogged 4 hours ago @ 30 Jul 2014 with 16,905 notes via/source
XTHE FIRST ONE THOUGH OMFG Xi'm going to tag puns because that was incredible Xpuns Xhp

slutdust:

I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “Thank you.”

I said “Don’t mention it.”

reblogged 15 hours ago @ 29 Jul 2014 with 112,413 notes via/source
XPUNS XDANG IT
taco-marco:

king-of-the-casuals:

I’m just gonna let the world figure this out

What does this mean???? Help????

taco-marco:

king-of-the-casuals:

I’m just gonna let the world figure this out

What does this mean???? Help????

reblogged 17 hours ago @ 29 Jul 2014 with 197,813 notes via/source
Xomfg Xpuns

atlas-zeta:

Just took my sexuality test, you could say I aced it. 

reblogged 1 day ago @ 29 Jul 2014 with 825 notes via/source
XOMG XI WAS TAGGED XME XPUNS

itsanexperimentjohn:

theliteralmagpie:

aruf0nsu:

okay so imagine an au where the potters live. harry dates oliver wood briefly. james hears of this and pulls harry aside. stares him in the eye with a deadly serious face
“he’s a Keeper”

You made an entire AU that would alter almost every facet of that series
For a pun
You’re a beautiful person.

"Are you serious right now, Dad?"

"No, I’m not serious. I’m Dad. He’s Sirius."

reblogged 1 week ago @ 21 Jul 2014 with 136,222 notes via/source
Xthere's more Xhp Xpuns

snowmercury:

hauntedpamplemousse:

orcasoup:

those moments when straight people assume you’re one of them and you feel like a gay secret agent

lesbionage

bi spy 

it’s an ace case

reblogged 1 week ago @ 20 Jul 2014 with 101,983 notes via/source
Xpuns Xomfg

repulsor:

darkwingsnark:

officialheinzdoofenshmirtz:

you have 10 seconds to think of a way to make the average vampire movie fresh and new and exciting again

A vampire going through the daily struggles of trying to hide his ever lasting boner— as rigor mortis is an unkind friend. 

die hard

reblogged 1 week ago @ 20 Jul 2014 with 24,292 notes via/source
XOMF XPUNS

the-average-gatsby:

alright you guys have posted some pretty bad jokes on here but not one comes close to this doozy

brace yourselves

so there’s a far-off place that consists of a perfectly triangular lake surrounded by land, with three kingdoms on the three sides of the lake. the first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy, prosperous people. the second kingdom is more humble, but has its fair share of wealth and power, too. the third kingdom is struggling and poor, and barely has an army.

the kingdoms eventually go to war over control of the lake, as it’s a valuable resource to have. the first kingdom sends 100 of their finest knights, clad in the best armor and each with their own personal squire. the second kingdom sends 50 of their knights, with fine leather armor and a few dozen squires of their own. the third kingdom sends their one and only knight, an elderly warrior who has long since passed his prime, with his own personal squire.

the night before the big battle, the knights in the first kingdom drink and make merry, partying into the late hours of the night. the knights in the second kingdom aren’t as well off, but have their own supply of grog and also drink late into the night.

in the third camp, the faithful squire gets a rope and slings it over the branch of a tall tree, making a noose, and hangs a pot from it. he fills the pot with stew and has a humble dinner with the old knight.

the next morning, the knights in the first two kingdoms are hung over and unable to fight, while the knight in the third kingdom is old and weary, unable to get up. in place of the knights, the squires from all three kingdoms go and fight. the battle lasts long into the night, but by the time the dust settled, only one squire was left standing - the squire from the third kingdom.

and it just goes to show you that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides

reblogged 1 week ago @ 16 Jul 2014 with 26,366 notes via/source
XJESUS Xi'm pretty sure i heard this joke before but i forgot how it ended XUNBELIEVABLE Xpuns

holmelesswhovian:

i had this teacher and he always used to make this joke;
'where do pencils go on holiday?….pencilvania!'
but 
one lesson we were just reading quietly and he just stood up from marking tests and said 'Oh. My. God. Pennsylvania's a real place.'
then he started laughing so hard he covered his face with both hands and walked out and different teacher had to continue the lesson

reblogged 3 weeks ago @ 08 Jul 2014 with 98,308 notes via/source
Xi cant believe Xpuns

Lee Gatlin
reblogged 3 weeks ago @ 05 Jul 2014 with 164,926 notes via/source
Xomg?? Xpuns